


Class BTi r«r, 
Book ^ 

Copyright N 0 ._ 

COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 








f 


Everyday 
Good Manners 
for Boys and Girls 

by 

Ernestine Louise Badt 

W 


PUBLISHERS 

LAIRD & LEE, Inc. 

CHICAGO 






% 


Copyright 1922, by 
Laird & Lee, Inc. 



Contents 


Chapter Page 

I. Personal Appearance . . 9 

II. Good Manners. 21 

III. Conversation. 33 

IV. Table Manners .... 44 
V. Introductions and Parties . 53 


Author’s Preface 


MV experience of several years 
as a teacher of dancing among the 
children of Chicago has convinced 
me that instruction in dancing is 
much less needed than a correct 
knowledge of good manners. 

The first and essential thing is a 
very definite understanding of the 
fundamental, familiar rules and 
principles applicable to daily life. 
These I have stated simply and 
directly, speaking very plainly 
when plain speaking is necessary. 


This little book is a compact 
guide to everyday good manners. 

It should be impressed upon 
young people that good manners 
do not consist merely in formal 
behavior in company. Good man¬ 
ners begin at home, and are found¬ 
ed on good personal habits. 
Accordingly I have said quite 
as much about these fundamen¬ 
tals as about the more formal 
matters. Both are necessary, and 
neither replaces the other. 


Ernestine Louise Badt . 




* 


9 


PERSONAL APPEARANCE 

Appearance, behavior, conversation— 
the way you look, the way you act, the 
way you talk—by these qualities people 
form their opinions of you. If you want 
to be considered a gentleman or a lady, 
or a gentlemanly boy or a lady-like girl, 
look well, behave well, and talk well. 

First in importance is your personal Dress 
appearance. To look well you need not 
be expensively dressed, and you certainly 
should not be conspicuously dressed. 
Cleanliness, neatness, and simplicity are 
the essentials. 

Suits and dresses, whether of wool or 
of wash material, must always be clean. 
Grease spots and perspiration stains are 
unpardonable. Neatness is quite as es- 


jo Everyday Good Manners 

sential to a boy as to a girl; and for the 
girl who is not neat there is no possible 
excuse. 

Care of Whether a boy or a girl, cultivate the 
Clothing habit of smoothing out your clothes and 
arranging them carefully when you take 
them off. Never throw them in a heap 
on a chair or on the floor. Hang them 
on hangers if possible. 

Suits and dresses should be brushed 
frequently—very frequently, not merely 
when the dust can be seen. When clothes 
are well taken care of they not only look 
better; they wear better. 

Under- The condition of your underclothing 
Clothing is no less important because it is not seen. 

Expensive underclothing is not neces¬ 
sary; but clean underclothing in good 
repair is imperative. Change frequently 
—soiled underwear is offensive to the 
sense of smell. 


for Boys and Girls 


IT 


See that all the buttons and other 
fastenings are in place; and use them. 

Your clothes fit much better and you are 
much more comfortable when your under¬ 
wear is in good condition and fastened 
properly where it belongs. 

Your shoes are about the most con- Shoes 
spicuous part of your apparel. When 
your shoes are out of repair or dirty, 
your whole appearance is slovenly. A 
pretty dress or a neat new suit never con¬ 
ceals ill-appearing shoes. 

Keep your shoes in good repair. Don’t 
allow your heels to be run down; have 
them straightened. Keep your laces tied 
and your buttons buttoned. Always 
have your shoes as free as possible of 
mud and dust and polish them daily. 

Good looks and good health depend Skin 
directly and constantly upon the bath. 

A good skin is merely a healthy skin, and 


12 


Everyday Good Manners 


Skin generally a clean skin is a healthy skin. 
Bathe daily, and make a pleasure of it. 
Get it out of your mind that a bath is a 
disagreeable necessity; learn to look for¬ 
ward to it as a luxury. 

Keep your hands and face clean al¬ 
ways. After coming indoors and before 
meals invariably wash them. Don't look 
to see if they appear to be dirty; wash 
them anyway. Nothing is more offensive 
in the house or at the table than soiled 
hands, or neck, or face. Be careful 
when you wash your face or hands to be 
thorough. Don't leave soil lines or 
marks that look as if you were lazy or 
had been in a hurry. Wash well your 
arms and wrists, your neck and your 
ears. Don't use a towel until you have 
throughly cleansed yourself. It is dis¬ 
courteous to a hostess, and equally 


for Boys and Girls ij 

thoughtless toward your mother, for you 
to leave dirt stains on the bath linen. 

At home use a nail brush; it will remove 
the grime thoroughly and quickly. Cheap 
brushes are better because the bristles are 
stiffen 

Always wash your hands after using the 
lavatory for any purpose. 

Your finger nails should always be 
clean and smoothly trimmed. Use a 
nail file freely, but always use it private¬ 
ly. It is a violent offense against cour¬ 
tesy to use a nail file or, for that matter, 
to make any part of a toilet, in public. 

White teeth are the result of constant Teeth 
care. Bad teeth are fatal to good appear¬ 
ance. Clean your teeth the first thing in 
the morning and again after each meal, 
and just before going to bed. Use a good 
paste or powder or salt or baking soda or 


Everyday Good Manners 


14 

soap and a stiff clean brush. Go to the 
dentist. Dental work is unpleasant only 
when it has been put off too long. De¬ 
fective teeth are ill smelling and un¬ 
healthful. 


For Girls 

Dress At home, a girl should wear a simple, 
neat dress, preferably of wash material, 
as a wool dress creases and spots quickly. 
Wear perfectly fresh attire to the break¬ 
fast table—either a plain house dress or a 
cover-all apron. 

Dresses for the street or for school 
should be of substantial material and 
plain in style. It is best to have a few 
gowns, kept in good order. Too great a 
variety encourages neglect and untidiness. 

Afternoon frocks may be more elabo¬ 
rate and of finer material, but should 
never be extreme or conspicuous. To 


jor Boys and Girls 


*5 


over-trim a dress or any other article of 
apparel is an evidence of excessively bad 
taste. 

A party frock may be as elaborate as 
good taste permits. Low-cut dresses are 
worn, but in this particular, as in all 
others, modesty is essential. Immod¬ 
esty makes no good impressions, and 
creates many bad ones. 

Use cotton, lisle or wool stockings for Hose 
school and street wear. Silk hose are 
suitable for parties and similar occasions, 
but they are not essential. Lace hose 
are for formal occasions only. Don’t 
hesitate to wear hose that have been 
neatly darned. 

Low-heeled leather shoes are best for Shoes 
the street. French heels are not in bad 
taste whenever very little walking is to 
be done; but for hygienic and other 
reasons, high heels ought to be worn 


i6 


Everyday Good Manners 


very little. They are bad for the ankles, 
dangerous and ungraceful. 

Hair Be' especially careful about the hair. 
and Skin Keep it clean and well brushed. A 
simple arrangement is prettiest and in 
best taste. 

To insure a smooth, soft skin, use 
plenty of good soap and water. Nothing 
is better than a hot bath. Use Castile or 
Ivory soap. Rouge should not be used. 
The most beautiful complexions are 
natural ones. The color-box can never 
take the place of cleanliness and a healthy 
skin. Youth itself is beautiful and needs 
no facial aids. 

Don is Don’t wear dresses which show grease 
spots or perspiration stains. 

Don’t wear dresses with missing but¬ 
tons; and don’t use pins in place of 
buttons. 


for Boys and Girls 17 

Don't wear dresses with frayed edges Don'ts 
or with ragged linings. 

Don't wear conspicuous silk hose. 

Don't wear satin slippers on the street 
with a serge dress. 

Don't dress the hair in an extreme or 
conspicuous style. 

Don't use perfume to excess. 

For Boys 

A boy should have two wool suits, one Dress 
for everyday wear and another for “dress 
up." They may be of the same quality 
and style, so that the better one can be 
used for every day when a new suit is 
purchased. Wash suits are suitable in 
summer and white trousers may be worn 
with shirt waists or wool coats for dress 
occasions. But wash suits should always 
be spotlessly clean and woolen clothes 
well pressed. 


18 Everyday Good Manners 

Dress Shirt waists are always suitable in 
warm weather except when “dressing 
up” is necessary. Sport shirts, low col¬ 
lars and short sleeves may be worn in the 
yard or at the park, but not down town 
or for visiting or at the dinner table. 
Wash shirts and shirt waists should be 
changed very often. 

For “dressing up,” white shirts are best. 
Silk shirts are entirely boyish, but not at 
all essential. In picking out your colored 
shirts, select plain, quiet patterns. 

Bow ties may be worn on special occa¬ 
sions; string ties are better for everyday 
wear. Be sure that your tie is always 
tied neatly and securely. If wash ties 
are worn, be especially careful to keep 
them clean. 

Hose For boys black stockings are more sat¬ 
isfactory. Always be sure that they are 


for Boys and Girls 


19 


well pulled up and smooth. Colored 
stockings may be worn with tan shoes, 
and white stockings, when clean, are 
suitable for young boys. Quality is not 
so important if the color is good. 

In cold weather boys should wear high Shoes 
black shoes. Low shoes, either black or 
tan, are suitable in summer. Canvas 
shoes may be worn in summer except 
when “dressing up” is to be done; but 
shoes with thin rubber soles should be 
avoided. They have a slovenly appear¬ 
ance and are bad for the feet. 

Keep your hair clean and brush it when Hair 
you make your toilet. Make a straight, and Skin 
even part, and don’t wet the hair too 
much. Have your hair cut frequently, 
but don’t have it clipped except for some 
special reason. 

A boy’s skin and teeth are just as im- 


20 


Everyday Good Manners 


portant as a girl's, and boys should be 
careful of them. Cleanliness is not effem¬ 
inate. Strong, healthy, manly boys are 
usually careful to be personally clean. 

Donts Don't wear soiled clothes or baggy 
trousers. 

Don't wear torn clothes or clothes 
with buttons missing. 

Don't wear conspicuous colors or pat¬ 
terns. 

Don't wear fancy shirts or useless 
jewelry. 

Don't wear your hat on the side or 
back of your head. 

Don't fail to keep your shoes clean and 
well polished. 

Don’t neglect to bathe frequently and 
thoroughly. 


for Boys and Girls 


21 


GOOD MANNERS 

To behave well is just as necessary as 
to look well. To be well behaved, you 
must be self-possessed, thoughtful and 
considerate of everyone. In your home, 
practice the courtesies which are pleasing 
to the members of your family; then in 
public the same courtesies will come 
easily and naturally. 

To be self-possessed you must be calm, Self - 
quiet and restrained. Be interested and Possession 
attentive to everyone to whom you are 
talking or who may be trying to amuse or 
entertain you. Avoid such restless ac¬ 
tions as twirling objects, beating a tattoo 
with the feet, drumming the fingers on a 
chair, table or window-pane or humming 
or whistling a tune. Never do any of 
these things in company or in any place 
where they may annoy others. 


22 


Everyday Good Manners 

Position An erect, well-poised posture is certain 
to inspire the confidence and interest of 
others; while the slouchy, wiggling, shift¬ 
ing-eyed person never can hold the 
attention of anyone. Learn perfect con¬ 
trol of your body by standing well, sitting 
properly, and walking correctly. 

How to Stand erect and firmly on both feet and 
Stand do not shift the weight from one foot to 
the other or lean against a chair, a 
table, or the wall. Stand so that the 
weight is thrust forward a little on the 
balls of the feet and the chest up as though 
attached to the ceiling by a string, the 
arms hanging naturally from the shoul¬ 
ders with the hands still and not fussing 
with clothing. Throw the head back 
so that from the top of the head to the 
end of the spine is one straight line. Look 
squarely into the eyes of the person to 
whom you are talking. 


for Boys and Girls 


23 


When conversing or reciting, take a When 
step or two forward and let one foot re- Conversing 
main a little ahead of the other with 
most of your weight on it. When lis¬ 
tening, draw the forward foot back so 
that the heels are together. 

When crossing a room or hall to talk 
to anyone, walk, don't run. Wait until 
you are standing near the person before 
speaking. To start a conversation be¬ 
fore standing quietly beside the person 
displays lack of respect. It is equally 
rude to finish a conversation, leave a 
person, and then scream back a few 
after-thoughts. Never scream anyway, 
except at a football game. Loud talking 
is vulgar. 

To sit down, walk directly to the seat, Taking a 
turn around, and without taking repeated Seat 
glances at the chair slip one foot back 
of the other and sit down. The back 


24 


Everyday Good Manners 


foot takes practically the full weight, and 
gives a secure feeling which does away 
with the need for looking around several 
times or holding the seat. 

Sitting Assume a dignified position in sitting, 
as it is a mark of respect to yourself and 
the company you are with. A boy does 
not sit astride a chair nor with legs spread 
out, nor a girl with her legs crossed. 
Crossing the ankles is permissible; but 
never extend the legs out so far in front 
as to place the feet where they may* 
trouble others in passing. Push back as 
far as you can in the chair, and lean for¬ 
ward from the hips, keeping your spine 
straight. Never tilt the chair on its 
back legs. 

Arising When arising from a chair, let one foot 
From a slide out a little in front of the other and 
Chair then push the weight forward with the 


for Boys and Girls 


25 


other foot back. Gradually draw the 
back foot up to the forward one. Do 
not push yourself up with your hands, 
nor jump up quickly on both feet to¬ 
gether. 

Walk erectly and firmly and with ease How to 
and dignity, but not stiffly nor with affec- Walk 
tation. The balls of the feet—not the 
heels—should hit the ground first. The 
knees should not bend, nor the feet toe 
in or drag along. 

Speak to each member of the family Cordiality 
when entering a home—even your own and 
home. Your mother, father and ac- Respon- 
quaintances enjoy a gracious smile and siveness 
cheerful greeting. Remember there is no 
one who cares to be ignored. 

Be responsive to all requests. If asked 
to play, sing, dance, go for a walk, ride, 
or go to a party, respond at once with a 


26 


Everyday Good Manners 


polite “Yes” or decline in such a way 
that a person will not continue to urge 
you. The desire to be urged is vain and 
rude. 

Privacy Respect the privacy of your family and 
friends no matter how well you know 
them. Do not read or even touch letters 
or anything of private character lying on 
another’s desk. Do not look over a per¬ 
son’s shoulder when he is reading or 
writing. Knock before entering a room 
where another person is when the door 
is closed. 

Thought - Enter a room quietly. Close doors 

fulness without slamming. When leaving a room 
where others are sitting, walk directly to 
the door, open it, and then back out and 
close it. 

Rise promptly when an older person 
enters the room and remain standing 


for Boys and Girls 


27 


until he or she is seated. Never take 
another’s seat unless you give it up upon 
his or her return. Apologize for crossing 
in front of anyone. 

Be neat at home and at school. Pick 
up waste paper, scraps and crumbs and 
put them in the waste paper basket. 
Never allow a room to be mussed up. 
See that overcoats, hats, overshoes and 
umbrellas are put in their proper places 
and not left lying on chairs, tables or 
couches. Put books back where they 
belong and above all never fail to return 
a book which has been loaned to you. 
Return borrowed books and umbrellas 
as soon as possible. 

Acknowledge at once by note all invi¬ 
tations and never leave a letter unan¬ 
swered. Use clean note paper, free from 
ink blotches or finger marks, and write 


Neatness 


Letter 

Writing 


28 


Everyday Good Manners 

perfectly plainly. Do not imitate the 
flourishes of a writing master. 

Carrying Carry packages and umbrellas so as 
Packages not to endanger the eyes of everyone who 
comes near them. Going up or down 
steps, standing in a crowded elevator, 
and sometimes just walking in the street 
you are likely to forget and carry an um¬ 
brella horizontally instead of vertically, 
which makes it a deadly weapon. 

Spitting — Do not spit on the sidewalk, in the 

Gum street car or any place other than in your 
Chewing handkerchief. Use your handkerchief 
when you gape, hiccough or sneeze. 

Never chew gum in public. If you 
do this you will immediately be classed 
as common and ill-bred. 

Be as quiet and dignified as possible 
in public. Never push and elbow through 
crowds. It may take a little extra time 


for Boys and Girls 


29 


from work and from play to move more 
slowly and make an apology for acci¬ 
dentally jostling anyone—but never fail 
to do so. Avoid rushing ahead into 
street cars; it is better to be left behind 
than to squeeze in ahead, animal fashion. 

Boys and girls should be particularly 
considerate of older people in this regard. 
And a boy should be thoughtful of a girl. 
He should follow her in getting on a car 
and precede her when alighting. 

In a crowded street car or train, give 
your seat to an elderly woman. Stand 
so as not to fall against anyone every 
time the car gives a lurch. Say, “Pardon 
me, please,” if you do bump into or have 
to pass in front of anyone. 

Boys, take off your cap or hat when 
greeting anyone, and always when in¬ 
doors. If you are walking with a girl or 


In a 

Public 

Conveyance 


Doffing 
the Hat 


30 


Everyday Good Manners 


woman who speaks to a person whether 
stranger or friend to you, raise your cap. 
Doff your hat to a man who may have 
been courteous to a girl or woman you 
are with. For instance, if a man gives 
her a seat on a car, touch your hat. 
Offering A boy never takes a girl’s arm on the 
the Arm street. A girl does not take a boy’s or 
man’s arm unless to be guided over a 
crowded place or at night and he politely 
requests that she take his arm. A boy 
does not walk between two girls, but al¬ 
ways takes his place on the left or on 
the outside of the walk. 

On the If a girl meets a boy acquaintance on 
Street the street, they speak and then pass on. 
If the boy wishes a few minutes’ con¬ 
versation with the girl, he asks if he may 
walk along with her. 

It is unnecessary to introduce friends 


for Boys and Girls 


3i 


on the street unless it relieves an awk¬ 
ward situation. In case you are with a 
friend and meet another acquaintance at 
the entrance of a store or theatre, and 
you have a few minutes to spare, intro¬ 
duce them. 

In any public place such as a church, Entering 
assembly hall or theatre, a girl follows Public 
the usher down the aisle and the boy fol- Places 
lows behind. The girl takes the inside 
seat. In church, however, where the 
family have a pew and the usher does 
not precede them, the man of the family 
precedes, whether he be an adult or a boy, 
and stands beside the pew until the 
women have taken their places. He then 
takes his place in the end seat. In at¬ 
tending a public entertainment, arrive a 
few minutes before the performance be¬ 
gins. When late, wait until a moment of 


32 


Everyday Good Manners 


Courtesies 


applause or intermission before entering 
so as not to disturb those already in their 
places. 

A boy at all times opens doors, carries 
packages, runs errands, picks up articles 
for girls. A girl at all times acknowl¬ 
edges all courtesies, all attention, all 
kindness with a “thank you.” 


jor Boys and Girls 


33 


CONVERSATION 

To speak correctly and pleasingly is 
quite as important as to look well or be¬ 
have well. Many a first impression, and 
some promising acquaintanceships, have 
been ruined by a loud or disagreeable 
voice, bad English or an awkward re¬ 
mark. Speak pleasingly; speak correctly; 
and speak tactfully. 

Be careful about the use of your voice. Modulation 
Do not speak any louder than necessary; in Speech 
but speak loud enough to be distinctly 
understood. Don't mumble your words, 
and, on the other hand, don't shout. 

Open your lips and speak clearly, and 
don't talk through your nose. 

Don’t talk in a monotone, but with 


yp Everyday Good Manners 

enough animation to show that you 
yourself are interested in what you are 
saying. Never be surly; always be cor¬ 
dial. And above all be natural. 

Correct Do not think that it is prudish or 

Speech silly to speak distinctly and to use the 
right words. Affectation is a disagree¬ 
able fault, for affectation is stilted and 
unnatural. The use of long, unusual 
words that you don’t quite understand 
is stupid. If you talk earnestly and 
distinctly, and use words as you think 
them, people will be glad to listen to you. 

Interest Show by your conversation that you 
are interested in what other people have 
to say. Listen attentively when other 
people are talking, and make it evident 
that you are listening. Look at the 
person who is talking to you; don’t oc¬ 
cupy yourself with other things, but 


for Boys and Girls jy 

j give your attention to what is being said 
to you. 

Don't interrupt. Be especially care¬ 
ful not to interrupt your elders; and if 
you find yourself doing so, stop at once 
and apologize and say so. Do not say 
“What?" Say “I am sorry, but I did 
not hear," or “Pardon me; I did not 
understand." “What" is curt and awk¬ 
ward. 

Don't monopolize the conversation. 
Other people like to talk as well as you 
do. Don't talk chiefly or at length about 
your own affairs, experiences and inter¬ 
ests; talk about the things that will in¬ 
terest the others or, better still, the 
things all are interested in. Persons who 
are inconsiderate in these particulars are 
tiresome and not liked. 

Never talk much about yourself. It is 


Interrup¬ 

tions 


Tact 


J (5 Everyday Good Manners 

bad form. Don't brag, either at length 
or briefly. Don't complain of illness or 
ill-fortune. Inquire sincerely about the 
health of your friends, especially if they 
have been ill; and cordially answer ques¬ 
tions about your own; but talk princi¬ 
pally about things that are interesting 
and cheerful. 

Forced Never try to be funny. If you are 
Wit funny, you c&n’t help it; you will be 
funny inevitably; but if you /ry, you will 
be merely ridiculous and tiresome. If 
you know a really funny story or expe¬ 
rience, tell it, but don't spoil it by laugh¬ 
ing over it before it is told, or by repeat¬ 
ing it until everyone else knows it. 

Gossip Don't gossip—any more than you can 
help; and never gossip maliciously. Tale¬ 
bearing is ill-bred and cowardly. The 
faults and misconduct of other people 


for Boys and Girls 


37 


are usually not your business; and if 
what you might say to another person’s 
discredit is only something you have 
heard, you are likely to do serious in¬ 
justice. To a person in authority—a 
parent or a teacher—tell the truth if you 
are asked for it and know it; otherwise 
do not discuss other people’s misconduct. 

Be respectful and cheerfully responsive. Respectful 
Answer cordially when you are spoken to. Cheerful 
When answering “Yes” or “No,” call Speech 
your questioner by name or by the proper 
appellation—for instance: “Yes, Mr. 

Harding,” not “Yes, Mr.” or “Yes, sir” 

(although “Yes, sir,” is much better than 
an abrupt “Yes”); “Yes, Mrs. Williams,” 
not “Yes, ma’am”; and “Yes, father” 
and “Yes, mother.” 

Don’t use slang. Many people—ma- Slang 
ture people—have an idea that to use 


j<? Everyday Good Manners 

slang is clever. They are very much 
mistaken. There are perhaps a few 
clever people who may use slang effect¬ 
ively, but you are probably not of that 
small number. Slang is almost always an 
evidence of bad breeding and ignorance. 
The fact that this fault is a common 
one does not make it any less a fault. 
For instance, say “I had a delightful 
time,” not “I had a swell time” or “a 
grand time.” 

Superla- In this connection, avoid superlatives. 
fives Don't be extravagant in your speech. 
You can be enthusiastic without being 
insincere. Say “This is a beautiful day,” 
not “This is a perfectly gorgeous day,” 
“She has pretty hair,” not “She has 
magnificent hair.” 

Swearing Don't swear. Anybody can swear; 

there is nothing smart about it. On the 


for Boys and Girls 


39 


contrary, swearing is generally a con¬ 
spicuous evidence of ignorance and bad 
breeding. It goes with a loud voice and 
vulgarity. Coarse language is worse, 
and if you feel like saying something so 
vulgar that you know it ought to be 
whispered, don’t say it at all. Clean, 
decent conversation is the habit of the 
gentleman and the lady. 

Reserve anything which cannot be 
spoken aloud for a suitable occasion, as 
whispering in company is decidedly ill- 
bred. Whispering and talking aloud in 
church during the service or in a theatre 
or at any entertainment during the per¬ 
formance are unpardonable. In a public 
place it is necessary to be quieter and 
more reserved in manner than in a pri¬ 
vate home. 

Quarreling in the home or in public is 


Whisper¬ 

ing 


Quarreling 


40 


Everyday Good Manners 


Final 

Conso¬ 

nant 


Correct 

Pronunci¬ 

ation 


most unpleasant to listen to. Never 
scold anyone before others, as it is embar¬ 
rassing for everyone concerned. Even 
to those whom you may regard as your 
inferiors, be considerate. Treat servants 
with respect and never order them in a 
dictatorial tone. Say “Please” and 
“Thank you” to anyone who has been of 
service to you. 

Avoid clipping final consonants. Say: 

“Coming” not “Comin .” 

“Going” not “ Goin .” 

“Singing” not “ Singin .” 

“Yes” not “ Yeh .” 

Pronounce vowel sounds correctly. Say: 

“No” not “Noh” 

“You” not “Yuh.” 

“Position” not “ Persition .” 

“Sentence” not “ Sentunce .’ 

“Catch” not “Ketch.” 


for Boys and Girls 




“Can” not “Kin” 

“Fellow” not “Feller,” 

“Windowf not “Winder,” 

“History ,” not “History.” 

“Library” not “Liberry,” 

Say: 

“He is clever ,” not “He is smart,” 

“Our maid is away,” not “Our serv¬ 
ant girl is away.” 

“I have finished my dress,” not “I 
am thru with my dress.” 

“I dislike coffee,” not “I hate coffee 
nor I despise coffee.” 

“Pictures are hung” not “Pictures 
are hanged,” 

“The teacher teaches —the pupil 
learnsf not “The teacher learns 
the pupil.” 

“I am angry with you,” not “I am 
mad at you.” 


Correct 
Use of 
Words 


42 


Everyday Good Manners 


"What an odd desk,” not "What a 
funny desk.” 

"You were very kind,” not "You 
were awfully kind.” 

"I have many friends,” not "I have 
lots of friends.” 

"I have ample time,” not "I have 
loads of time.” 

“May I go?” not " Can I go?” 

Correct Say: 

English "I am not going,” not "I ain't going.” 

"He isn't going,” not "He ain't 
going.” 

"They aren't going,” not "They 
ain't going.” 

"He doesn't know,” not "He don't 
know.” 

"I did it” not I done it.” 

"He did it, not "He done it.” 

"They did it,” not "They done it.” 


for Boys and Girls 


43 


“I saw ; 9 not “I seen.” 

“If he had gone ” not “If he had 
went” 

“It is I” not “It is me.” 

“It is he” not “It is him” 

“It is they” not “It is them.” 

“He is older than I” not “He is 
older than me” 

“I am taller than he” not “I am 
taller than him” 

“Mother and / are going/’ not 

“Mother and me are going.” 


44 


Everyday Good Manners 


TABLE MANNERS 

Be on time for meals and in the proper 
attire. Never appear in shirt sleeves, a 
kimona or a bathrobe. Never speak of 
food—whether good or bad. Be careful 
not to turn your back to one person for 
the purpose of talking to another, or to 
talk across the one seated next to you. 
The persons sitting beside you are entitled 
to your attention. Keep the hands in re¬ 
pose. Avoid playing with salt, jingling 
knives, forks and spoons together, twirl¬ 
ing glasses, drawing pictures and figures 
or resting elbows on the table. Accept 
every course. Eat the part you wish and 
leave the rest. 

For the Boy Draw back the chair for the girl or 
lady at your side, and push it under her 


for Boys and Girls 


45 


as she sits down. Wait for all the ladies 
at the table to be seated and then take 
your own seat. Stand up when a lady 
or girl stands, and remain standing until 
she sits down again or leaves the table. 

Honor your elders by standing until For the Girl 
they are seated. Stand promptly should 
anyone come to your table in a public 
restaurant. Remain standing until the 
friend leaves or draws out a chair and 
sits down to chat. 

Sit erect at the table with the waist Position 
line about five inches from the edge of 
the table. Never bend over the plate 
or drop the head to get each mouthful. 

Keep your hands in your lap when not 
eating, or rest the forearms, just a little 
above the wrists, against the edge of the 
table. Rest your feet on the floor, not 
on the rungs of the table or the chairs. 


Everyday Good Manners 


46 

The Unfold the napkin, and put it across 
Napkin your lap. Do not tuck it under your 
chin. Use it to rub your fingers on as it 
lies on your knees. Raise it to your 
lips as often as necessary. At the end 
of the meal, fold it carefully and lay it 
beside the plate. In a friend’s house or 
in a public restaurant, however, let it lie 
loose beside your plate. 

Noiseless Eat slowly and quietly. Keep your 
Eating mouth closed while it contains food. Be 
careful not to fill it too full. Eat toast 
and crisp biscuit in very small pieces and 
slowly, so as not to make a noise. 

The Hold the spoon just above the center 
Spoon of the handle so that it rests on the middle 
finger and is guided by the thumb and 
forefinger. When you use it for soup, 
dip it into the liquid with a motion away 
from your body. Never tip the dish to 
scrape the final mouthful. Eat all liquids 


for Boys and Girls 


47 


from the side of the spoon. Use the tea¬ 
spoon only for stirring and testing the 
temperature of tea, coffee and other 
liquids. Drink the liquid from the cup 
or the glass and lay your spoon in the 
saucer while drinking. Don’t blow on 
soup or pour a hot drink from the cup 
into the saucer to cool it. 

Hold the fork in the left hand, the The Fork 
prongs down on the plate while cutting. 

Hold it in the right hand as you do the 
spoon when eating. In this position the 
food may be lifted on the hollow, curved 
side of the prongs. Never overload the 
prongs; use a small piece of bread or 
roll- to push a morsel of food on if neces¬ 
sary. When it is not in use, place the 
fork full length on the plate, prongs 
facing upward, and the handle on the 
edge of the plate. 

Hold the knife in the right hand and 


4% Everyday Good Manners 

The Knife use it only for cutting—never to carry 
food to the mouth. Place the forefinger 
above the blade on the handle, and keep 
the elbows close to the sides when cutting. 
When it is not in use, place it full length 
like the fork on the plate. The blade-tip 
should rest in the center of the plate, its 
handle on the edge of the plate. With it 
in this position, and with the fork by its 
side, pass the plate for a second helping, 
or leave it when a course or meal is con¬ 
cluded. 

The Cup Hold the cup by its handle which rests 

and Glass between the thumb and forefinger and 
middle finger. The ring finger and little 
finger follow the natural curve of the 
hand, but not in an affected style; hold 
the water glass the same way. Use one 
hand, not both, in lifting a cup or glass 
and never drink the entire cupful or 


for Boys and Girls 49 

glassful at one time. Never drink from 
the saucer. 

Eat from the fingers bread, crackers, Eating 
toast, rolls, sandwiches, small cakes, 
celery, olives, salted nuts, raisins, crystal¬ 
lized fruits, bon-bons, corn on the cob 
and most raw fruits. 

Remove fruit seeds or pits from the 
mouth as inconspicuously as possible. 

Use the fingers or a spoon, and cover 
your mouth with a napkin if necessary, 
but try to avoid attention. 

Eat with a spoon grapefruit, small and 
large fruits served with cream, hot pud¬ 
dings and custards, jellies, porridges, 
preserves and soft-boiled eggs. 

Eat all meats and nearly all vegetables 
with a fork. A vegetable prepared with 
milk may be eaten with a spoon. Never 
use a spoon when a fork will do. Eat 


Everyday Good Manners 


50 

cake with a soft filling with a fork. Break 
bread and crackers into small pieces; 
then butter and eat. 

Finger If finger bowls are used after a fruit 

Bowls course or at the end of a meal, dip the 
fingers of one hand at a time daintily into 
the bowl, and wipe on the napkin. Be 
careful not to give the impression of 
attempting to wash the hands at the 
table. 

Conclusion At the end of a meal, leave the last 
of Meal plate in its place. Place the napkin to 
the left of it on the edge of the table. 
The ladies make the first motion to leave 
the table. If forced to leave the table 
before the meal is over, ask the hostess if 
you may be excused. 

Don’ts Don't let the fork or spoon knock 
against the teeth, scrape across the plate 
or hit a glass. 


for Boys and Girls 


5* 

Don’t place food on the table cloth; 
except hard bread or celery, when a 
special bread and butter plate is not fur¬ 
nished. 

Don’t spear the bread. 

Don’t stretch across another’s plate 
in order to reach anything. Ask politely 
to be passed what you desire. 

Don’t leave the table until you have 
ceased chewing. 

Don’t pick the teeth at the table or any 
place in public. 

Don’t chew a toothpick or suck your 
teeth. 

In setting the table, the meat fork and Setting the 
salad fork should be placed at the left Table 
and the meat knife and butter knife at 
the right. This leaves a space between 
the knives and forks for the plate. The 
napkin should be placed at the left of 


5 2 


Everyday Good Manners 


the forks, and soup spoon, coffee spoon 
and dessert spoon at the right of the 
knives. 

Nearly touching the tips of the knife 
blades, stands the water glass and at the 
left of the forks, the bread and butter 
plate. Salt and pepper shakers are placed 
at either end of the center of the table, 
or between each two persons. 

Service Each dish should be served to the left 
of every person in turn, beginning with 
the hostess and then in order from gentle¬ 
man to lady as they are seated. Coffee 
and water should be placed at the right, 
and courses taken away from the left 
with the exception of the beverages. 


for Boys and Girls 


53 


INTRODUCTIONS AND PARTIES 

Introduce a man to a woman, a boy 
to a girl, a younger person to an older. 
Never introduce a woman to a man unless 
he is elderly and distinguished. A good 
form is "Mrs. Jones, may I present Mr. 
Smith ?” or “Mrs. Jones, allow me to 
present Mr. Smith ?” Never say, “Mrs. 
Jones, meet Mr. Smith,” or “Mr. Jones, 
shake hands with Mr. Smith.” 

When introducing girls and boys of 
grammar school age, mention the Chris¬ 
tian name (given name) and surname 
(last name). Say “Mary Burke, may I 
present John Moore?” Learn and re¬ 
member the last names of your friends. 
Your mother and father like to know 


Introducing 

Grammar 

School 

Students 


54 Everyday Good Manners 

which Mary and which John you are 
playing with. 

Introducing Present girls of high school age as 
High “Miss Sarah Collins” and “Miss Jose- 
School phine Smith.” Simply “Miss Collins” 
Students and “Miss Smith” are too formal. In 
many cases this is absolutely incorrect— 
for the eldest daughter is the only one of 
the family entitled to the prefix “Miss” 
without her Christian name. 

You may introduce boys of high school 
age as “Mr. Pearse” and “Mr. Cum¬ 
mings,” but “Robert Pearse” and “Dwight 
Cummings” are the better way. 

Introducing Introduce your friends to your parents 
Relatives or grandparents as follows—providing 
you and your family have the same name: 
“Mother, may I present my teacher Miss 
Byrne?” “Grandfather, may I present 
Frances Green?” “Miss Byrne, may I 
present my father?” 


for Boys and Girls 


55 


When introducing relatives, mention 
the degree of relationship existing. For 
instance—“Miss Byrne, may I present 
my sister , Cora?” “Miss Byrne, this is 
my brother , Fred.” “Miss Byrne, may I 
present my uncle , Mr. Wood, and my 
cousin , Alice Wood?” 

Introduce a sister-in-law or brother- 
in-law as “My sister,” or “My brother, 

Mr. Baker.” 

Introduce a man who has a professional Introducing 
or military title or title of honor by his Titled 
title. Introduce his wife, however, as Persons 
“Mrs.” For instance. “Miss Byrne, may 
I present the Doctor and Mrs. Wright ?” 

To accept an introduction, bow, men¬ 
tion the name of the person clearly or say 
“How do you do, Miss Byrne?” and 
shake hands, if the older person offers his 
hand. In meeting people near your age 
offer your hand; girls who do this are 


56 Everyday Good Manners 

considered truly gracious. Boys always 
shake hands. 

Acknowl- A hostess rises to accept an introduc- 
edging tion. A guest, if seated, remains so to 
Intro- meet boys near her own age. If intro- 
ductions duced to older people, stand. Boys 
always stand. 

If you do not understand the name of 
the person introduced, do not hesitate to 
say, “Pardon me, please, but I did not 
hear your name.” 

Introducing An easy way to make a stranger ac- 
at the quainted with a number of guests at a 
Party party is to start at one end of the room 
and go right around speaking one name 
after another. For instance, “Eleanor 
Smith, I want you to know my mother, 
my father, Ruth Brown, Frank Green, 
Grace Louis, Mr. Ryan, and Ethel 
Davis.” 


for Boys and Girls 


57 


To make a bow, a boy puts his heels Bows 
together tightly, keeps his knees stiff, 
lets his arms hang loosely from the 
shoulders and bends forward very slightly 
from the waist line, letting the eyelids 
droop. 

To make a curtsy, a girl places the right 
toe in back of the left heel, lifts her skirt 
a little on either side with her finger tips 
and dips slightly, keeping the body erect. 

When taking a person's hand to shake The Hand 
it, grasp it firmly, meet the eyes of the Shake 
person squarely and give a cordial warm 
clasp before letting go. To just barely 
touch the hand and draw away quickly 
gives a cold, clammy feeling, and is dis¬ 
courteous because indifferent. 

Be generous with your guests. If en¬ 
tertaining just one friend in your home 


y8 Everyday Good Manners 

The Host for a few hours, think only of giving 
and him a good time, not of yourself. Give 
Hostess him the choice of games, toys and books, 
and never complain of him no matter 
what he may do. Never fail to thank 
him for coming. 

Parties At a party in your own home, greet 
all your guests and see that all are intro¬ 
duced. At a large party given in a public 
place, introduce as many as possible. 
Devote the greatest thought and effort 
to making your guests comfortable and 
giving them a pleasant time. Since 
laziness is a form of selfishness, the girl 
or the boy who takes no pains in providing 
entertainment for guests is seldom popu¬ 
lar. At a dancing party, try to provide 
partners for all your guests. 

The Guest If you are a guest, aim to be agreeable 
to any suggestion the host or hostess may 


for Boys and Girls 


59 


make. Respond quickly and enthusias¬ 
tically to all forms of entertainment and 
never sulk or appear bored. Upon leav¬ 
ing, say you had a pleasant time and 
thank your host or hostess and his or her 
parents for being so kind as to invite you. 

Never thank them for refreshments; 
just speak of having had a good time. 

If you escort a girl to a party, find out The Escort 
where the girls’ cloak room is, in case 
neither of you know; then, after leaving 
her, go to the boys’ room and remove 
your hat and coat. Meet her in the 
hallway and follow her to make your bow 
to your hostess. At supper, serve her; she 
isn’t supposed to wait on herself when she 
has a man escort or when there are ser¬ 
vants. When she is ready to leave, accom¬ 
pany her without a question. In case 
you are attending a dancing party and 


6o 


Everyday Good Manners 


leave early, explain your reasons for leav¬ 
ing to all those with whom you have made 
engagements for dances. Then say “Good¬ 
bye” to the hostess and depart quickly. 

At the dinner party, remember that 
the girl sitting next to you has the first 
claim upon you, even though you did not 
escort her to the party. 

March or In forming for a march, or escorting a 
Promenade partner to a seat, a boy offers his right 
arm, so that the elbow forms a right 
angle with the forearm and the hand 
crosses over in front of the body. A girl 
places the finger tips of her left hand in 
the crook made by his elbow. She should 
be very careful not to allow her hand or 
part of her arm to hang through and 
allow her weight to press down on his 
arm. 

It is necessary to form the habit of 


for Boys and Girls 


61 


taking a correct dancing position. It has Dancing 
been said that at no time is the difference Position 
between those who are and those who 
are not accustomed to refining influence 
so strongly marked as when they are in 
their merriest mood. To dance in close, 
bodily contact is improper and disgusting. 

A couple should stand erect about four 
inches apart, facing each other very 
squarely when dancing. The boy places 
his right hand at the center of his part¬ 
ner's back half way between the shoulders 
and waist line. His hand presses quite 
firmly with fingers closed and out full 
length, not spread or curved under. 

With this hand he guides his partner. He 
should be careful not to make her uncom¬ 
fortable by shifting it from one place to 
another or pulling her by the clothing in 
the direction he wishes her to go. The 


62 


Everyday Good Manners 

girl simply rests her left hand gently on 
his right shoulder in a relaxed manner 
and yet holding up her own weight so as 
not to be heavy to lead. With the left 
arm out at the side, elbow slightly bent, 
the boy offers his left hand, palm upward. 
The girl rests the finger tips of her right 
hand in his extended palm, and the boy 
doubles his fingers over hers, to make a 
little bit firmer hold. 

Dancing A slight up and down motion is the 
only correct one for social dancing. Ex¬ 
treme dancing of any kind, such as a 
swaying motion from side to side, or 
forward or backward, is common. Boys 
should apologize for bumping anyone. 

When a boy wishes to dance, he bows 
politely and asks the girl if he may 
have the dance. The girl, unless pre¬ 
viously engaged, accepts the invitation 
graciously. It is her privilege, however, 


for Boys and Girls 


63 

to break a dancing engagement should Giving and 
she be fatigued; but to refuse to dance Accepting 
with one boy, and then go off with an- Dance In - 
other, is inexcusable rudeness. No well- vitations 
bred girl ever does such a thing. She 
may ask him if he wishes to dance with 
some one else, and if not, she should sit 
out the dance with him. A boy on the 
other hand, must never be late in claim¬ 
ing a promised dance, and, should he be, 
must offer apologies and explanations for 
his tardiness. 

An excellent form to use in asking for a 
dance is “Helen, may I have this dance?” 

An excellent form to use in accepting 
is “I shall be delighted.” If refusing, 

“I am sorry but I have this one engaged,” 
or “Thank you, but I am going to rest 
through this number.” 

A boy never leaves his partner in the 
middle of the floor after dancing with her 


Everyday Good Manners 


64 

Seating a but escorts her to a seat. To do so, he 
Partner offers his right arm to her, keeps in step 
with her while crossing the floor, and 
upon reaching the chairs allows her to 
pass in front of him, and bows while she 
sits down; then he sits down at her left, 
facing her all the time. If there are not 
a sufficient number of chairs, he should 
stand beside his partner rather than 
permit a girl to stand. Should he be 
forced to leave his partner after seating 
her, he should thank her for the dance, 
and excuse himself by saying, “Excuse 
me, I have the next dance.” The girl 
should mention also that she enjoyed the 
dance. 

The In the Paul Jones or Grand Right and 
Paul Jones Left, all join hands in one large circle, 
the boy having his partner at his right 
hand. Partners then face one another, 


for Boys and Girls 6 5 

thus making all the boys' right shoulders 
out and the girls' left shoulders out. 
Everybody offers his right hand to his 
partner and marches forward around the 
circle, offering the left hand to the next 
person he meets—then right hand, then 
left hand, and so on. This makes a 
weaving in and out—greeting each per¬ 
son in turn until the whistle blows. Then 
the person whose hand you are holding 
or the person standing nearest you is 
your new partner. Should you be left 
without a partner, cross immediately to 
some one who also has been left out. 

For a cotillion all couples are seated The 
around the room, the boy sitting at the Cotillion 
left side of his partner in each case. 

Every couple is numbered from one on 
up until each one has a number. Half 
of the couples are called up to dance, 


66 


Everyday Good Manners 


The while the others remain seated. At the 
Cotillion blow of the whistle, partners leave each 
other, the boy going to the table where 
the favors are for the girls, and the girl 
going to the table where the favors are 
for the boys. Each is given a favor by 
the person in charge to give to some one 
who is seated. The boys favor the girls, 
the girls favor the boys, and then all are 
up to dance. There is often a fancy 
figure called out by the leader, which 
causes another change of partners and 
then more dancing. At the final blow 
of the whistle, which means seats, each 
boy escorts the girl he is dancing with 
to her seat, and ajterward goes to his own. 
Each goes back to the same partner and 
to the same seat and keeps the same 
number throughout the entire cotillion. 

















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